What is the real meaning behind the corporate phrases?
- “COMPETITIVE SALARY”
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
- “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM”
We have no time to train you.
- “CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
- “MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED”
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
- “SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
- “DUTIES WILL VARY”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
- “MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”
We have no quality control.
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
- “APPLY IN PERSON”
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.
- “NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE”
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
- “SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
- “PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
- “REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
- “GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS”
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.